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New Public Health Menace: "Some Dude"

I’m a big fan of GruntDoc (Texas ER physician Allen Roberts), one of the first medical bloggers on the Internet. To show my appreciation, I’ve decided to plagiarize repost this classic “rant” of his (in case you missed it in 2004):

I work in an Emergency Department, and have noticed that there is one common denominator in the majority of the assaulted patients I treat: they were all assaulted by “Some Dude“. (Also, they were all assaulted for “…no reason…”, but that’s the topic of another rant). This is true no matter where I work, the time of day or day of the week.

“Some Dude” has in the last two weeks shot my patients, sucker-punched, struck with bottles, beaten them with fists and a golf club (or perhaps the entire set), and pushed my patients down stairs.

Additionally, “Some Dude” has ’slipped drugs’ into the drinks of, transmitted sexual diseases to, and stolen the medications of my patients.

I have no idea how “Some Dude” is everywhere at once. I suspect he’s an evil superhero, though in the current times I cannot completely exclude an AlQuaeda conspiracy.

I advocate a vigorous police and public-health effort to locate and confine “Some Dude” due to the clear and present danger he represents to the health and welfare of our republic.

If you encounter “Some Dude,” please turn him in to the appropriate authorities. This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at

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One Response to “New Public Health Menace: "Some Dude"”

  1. rummuser says:

    This is the funniest post that I have read in a long long time.  Do please post more like these in this rather serious blog!  Thank you for this very pleasant surprise.

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