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Relationships and weight gain: Valentine’s Day musings

My friends in the Revolution Weight Management Center asked me to blog about weight and relationships… at first I wondered if they were trying to stage an intervention or something: have I gained that much weight since I started working here? Ha ha. No, I haven’t… but maybe that’s because I have such a skinny husband?

As it turns out, research suggests that married couples are influenced by one another’s dietary habits. If you marry a person with poor eating habits, you are much more likely to adopt them yourself. Also, they say that marriage leads to more regular (read frequent), larger meals and increased financial pressures, stress levels and decreased exercise frequency.

Well, I guess choosing the right spouse has never been more important for weight control? Marriage doesn’t automatically lead to weight gain, but you should eye your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé(e) with suspicion at the dinner table. When I was dating my husband I noticed that he ate small portions, never finished his plate, and didn’t like dessert. He liked to run, had good sleeping habits, drank in moderation, and wouldn’t notice a super model if she fell in his lap. Sound too good to be true? I still ask myself that every day. They don’t make too many like Steve, I’ll tell you!

Anyway, I must confess that before our wedding I was in the best shape of my life, running about 20-25 miles a week, shunning all products containing high fructose corn syrup, and taking good care of my health. Now I exercise irregularly, sneak in rich dining experiences, and skip meals. I weigh about the same, but have (I’m sure) exchanged fat for muscle.

What do I make of this? Well, I need to force myself to go running again with my husband (he patiently runs at my pace as I lumber along next to his gazelle-like frame) and be more mindful of my eating habits. This is a never-ending battle for me, but it is made so much easier by having a supportive spouse who never deviates from good health practices.

So as Valentine’s Day approaches, observe your loved one’s eating and exercise habits with a critical eye. You are likely to be influenced by them more than you know. And for those of you who have a “Steve” in your life, thank your lucky stars, put down the box of chocolates, and show him how much he’s appreciated!

P.S. Steve would like to tell you that he (thanks to me) now enjoys dessert and craves ice cream from time to time. I guess my influence on him hasn’t been as positive.

This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at

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3 Responses to “Relationships and weight gain: Valentine’s Day musings”

  1. Anonymous says:

    My husband and I have experienced this, and we’ve ended up somewhere in the middle. His diet has improved (and he’s lost weight because of it) because I have some dietary restrictions that mean I tend to eat low-fat meals. What I eat, he eats, because I’m usually the one cooking! The opposite side of that is that I work out less in part because he doesn’t work out (though I can’t blame him for me not working out, because I’m not particularly motivated myself).

  2. SOSme says:

    Will your husband Steve consider polygamy?

  3. Anonymous says:

    My husband and I have morphed closer to each other in habits… which is good for him (regular, generally healthy meals) and bad for me (inconsistent exercise, bigger portions). I know I have to ultimately get back to being responsible for me.

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