October 30th, 2008 by drval in Humor, True Stories
4 Comments »
True story: As a fourth-year medical student I spent a summer working with a dermatologist in Los Angeles. In addition to all the skin cancer removal, sun damage, and Mohs surgery patients, my preceptor had a thriving laser tattoo removal business.
One day a rock band electric guitarist came into the office requesting help for an incident he’d had the night before. Apparently he’d gotten terribly drunk (+/- stoned) and made an impulsive tattoo decision that he regretted deeply in the light of morning.
The gaunt, long-haired gentleman entered the dermatology suite with his head hung low. He sat down in the exam chair and explained that he was there for a tattoo removal consultation. “Man, I can’t believe I did this to myself,” he muttered as he unbuttoned his shirt.
I wondered what on earth could be so terrible…
And then I saw it.
It was an 8 inch by 4 inch, bright yellow and black tattoo…
On the left side of his neck…
An exact replica of…
The periodic table of the elements.
October 17th, 2008 by drval in Friday Funny
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I’m introducing a new feature to the blog: a weekly cartoon posted every Friday. If you’d like to subscribe to the cartoon feed (perhaps you’d like to feature the weekly cartoon on your website?) please contact john.crotty@getbetterhealth.com
Enjoy your weekly dose of humor from Dr. Val! By the way, what time on Friday should I publish these do you think? I’d appreciate your feedback.
October 7th, 2008 by drval in Medblogger Shout Outs
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While I was “homeless” my blogging friends kindly invited me to guest post at their websites. Ramona Bates at Suture For A Living posted this for me:
I have a great plastic surgeon friend who offered to fill a facial scar for me. I was bitten in the face by a dog when I was very young, and the small (1/2 inch) divot of flesh from my cheek still bothers me slightly. I’ve generally ignored it but thought it might be fun to see if it could be corrected in any way – so I happily agreed to try a Restylane (hyaluronic acid) injection.
My surgeon and I decided not to use any numbing medication because it distorts the contours of the face, making correction more challenging. So I tried my best not to squirm as he inserted a fairly long needle parallel to my nose…
To read the rest of the post, please click here.
August 5th, 2008 by drval in News
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Thanks to my friend Jen for highlighting this unusual “health story.” Apparently a type of fish (called “doctor fish” - not sure how I feel about that) found in Turkish hot springs thrive on dead human skin. They’ve been used in the past to treat psoriasis, a condition that produces skin cell overgrowth. And now, an enterprising salon has imported these fish to nibble off dead skin found on pedicure seekers’ feet.
Images of the movie “Piranha” came to mind for me until I read the fine print - these fish have no teeth, but use a kind of suction action to feed. Also, the silvery creatures are the size of minnows.
Some clients say that the process tickles, and it feels as if their feet are being “kissed” by hundreds of fishies. The salon owners claim that the fish have doubled in size since they were first unleashed on American spa-goers.
I suppose this is an “organic” way to live in a symbiotic relationship with nature’s creatures - but as a physician, I can only imagine all the potential fungus and wart viruses thriving in the warm fishy waters. [Shudder]
I’m going to stick with my pumice stone.
**
You may also like: “Flip Flop Foot” and “Conversations at the Spa“This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
February 4th, 2008 by drval in Medblogger Shout Outs, News
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I learned something interesting today from Dr. Benabio’s Derm Blog: bacteria love to grow in skin cream. He said that it was kind of like cream cheese - leaving it out at room temperature would cause it to go bad pretty quickly, were it not for the usual preservatives. He described an outbreak of a deadly bacterial infection in a hospital ICU - caused by nurses using “all natural” European (preservative-free) skin cream on their patients.
So there you have it folks - deadly bacteria are indeed “all natural.”This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
December 2nd, 2007 by drval in Opinion
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I recently had the chance to observe a breast augmentation procedure performed by a surgeon friend of mine. The patient was a tall, attractive woman in her late thirties. Her husband was in the room, quietly listening to my friend’s explanation of the procedure and what should be expected. The patient was friendly and enthusiastic - the breast augmentation procedure was her birthday gift to herself. This was her second procedure, as she had already increased her cup size from an A to a C a few years prior. This time she wanted D or larger.
I felt mixed emotions as I observed the surgery. On the one hand the patient’s breasts looked fine the way they were (in my humble opinion) and it seemed wrong to further distort her natural body type. Yet on the other hand, I think that patients have the right to look the way they want to, and my personal beauty ideal shouldn’t be projected on to them. I asked my friend how she dealt with this sort of conflict.
“Well,” she said, looking at me with her surgical mask and blue hair net, “if a woman wants a green dress, it’s not the store clerk’s business to try to pressure her into buying a red one. I just try to give the patients what they want, and not impose my opinions on them.”
And so I watched as my friend carefully sutured the wounds around the new implants. She checked the movement of the saline-filled sacs inside the chest. She pushed the breasts together to check the cleavage.
“But the breasts don’t touch each other when you push them to the center,” I said, head tilted sideways.
“Her sternum is too wide for that. This is one of the limitations of implants of this size on her body. She just doesn’t have enough tissue to make that kind of cleavage.”
“Is that ok with her?” I asked, glancing down my own scrub top.
“It’s a give and take - she knows that going larger will not give her a natural look, but she’s ok with that. This is what she wants.”
And so the anesthesiologist woke the patient up, extubated her, and the nursing staff slid her over to the stretcher that would carry her to the recovery area. My friend escaped her sterile gown and gloves and prepared her post-op note at the nursing station desk. I smiled at the nurses who assisted in the surgery, and we shrugged at each other and went on our separate ways. I hope the patient is pleased with the outcome, though most of all I hope she feels content with how she looks, no matter what the bra cup size.
What do you think about breast augmentation?This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
November 16th, 2007 by drval in Humor
2 Comments »
I had a special lunch event scheduled today, so I went to a stylist to give my hair a little more volume. (My hair is pin straight and rather fine, so it takes a fair amount of work to make it look substantially different than this.)
A coworker arrives in my office. He looks at me, tilts his head to one side and says,
“Have you been outside today? Your hair is usually very sleek, but today it’s really messy and ‘all over the place.’”
“Um, no, I actually paid someone to style my hair today. That’s what’s different.”
Blank stare.
New topic.
Dudes.This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
September 29th, 2007 by drval in Quackery Exposed, True Stories
5 Comments »
As some of you faithful readers of Dr. Val may know – I’m a huge fan of massage. Consider it my
addiction, I suppose – it could be worse! And so it may come as no surprise that I had a massage every day of my vacation (7 days in Southern California - sorry I haven’t been blogging as much lately). Yes I’m well and truly tenderized from head to toe. But I have to say that some of the therapists’ chatter was quite amusing to me. I was unsuccessful at completely removing my doctor hat during the experience, and tried not to look quizzically at them as they explained what they were up to and what I needed.
Those of you with healthcare backgrounds may especially appreciate this dialog:
Therapist (scrutinizing my back as I’m face down on a
table): have you seen a chiropractor recently?
Dr. Val: Um, no. Why?
Therapist: Well, two of your ribs are out.
Dr. Val: They’re ‘out?’
Where did they go?
Therapist: A chiropractor can put them back for you so your
muscles won’t pull in the wrong direction.
Dr. Val: Will a chiropractor be able to fix this
permanently?
Therapist: No, you’ll have to keep going. (Adds some eucalyptus lotion). This will bring your red blood cells to the
surface, and the cooling brings white blood cells to the area.
Dr. Val: (considering what a collection of white blood cells
actually do – yuck). Hrmph. That’s a nice massage technique. What are you doing?
Therapist: I’m using my elbows to stimulate repair cells.
Dr. Val: Ahum…
Therapist: You have lactic acid build up in your shoulders
so we have to flush the toxins out with special oils. You should also drink a lot of water.
Dr. Val: What sort of toxins?
Therapist: Like, dirt and metals and stuff that you’ve been
exposed to. You might have eaten fruit
with pesticides on it. Do you eat
organic food?
Dr. Val: Sometimes.
Therapist: Oh, you should only eat organic food. Then you won’t have as many toxins built up.
Dr. Val: How do I know how many toxins I have in my body?
Therapist: Well, your shoulders are really tight and your
ribs are out so I think you probably have a lot. You’ll need a lot of massage and you need to
see a chiropractor. The oils I used on
you will have a calming effect, though.
You’ll probably sleep really well tonight.
Dr. Val: I see (inhaling, exhaling). I hope I do.
** 15 minutes post massage – back at the hotel room **
Husband: You smell funny - like an almond.
Dr. Val: That’s “the calming oil that flushed the toxins out
of my body” today. I have to drink
water.
Husband: Well we’re driving 2 hours up to L.A. so don’t drink too much or we’ll have to
stop along the way.
Dr. Val: The therapist said 2 of my ribs were out and that I
need to see a chiropractor.
Husband: There’s nothing wrong with your ribs. Don’t be silly. Why do you keep getting these massages?
Dr. Val: They feel good.
Husband: I could give you a back rub for free.
Dr. Val: It’s not the same, though.
Husband: Why, because I don’t tell you your ribs are out of
whack?
Dr. Val: Well, they have a proper table…
Husband: I don’t understand you.
Dr. Val: But you like almonds (hugs him).This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
July 30th, 2007 by drval in Opinion
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You may remember the horrifying story of a young French woman who passed out after taking some sedatives, and her dog tried to wake her up by gnawing on her face. She was the first recipient of a face transplant, and is on immunosuppressant therapy to this day to prevent rejection of the donor tissue. This immunosuppression puts her at greater risk for cancer and infections and raises the issue of whether the benefits (a closer approximation of a normal appearance than reconstruction of her face from her own body tissue) outweigh the risks (a shortened lifespan and potential hospitalizations for infections, eventual tissue rejection, and perhaps cancer.)
Many people suffer severe facial disfigurement from accidents and burns every year. Face transplants could give them a chance at a relatively normal appearance - but American doctors are unwilling to put them at risk for what is in essence a cosmetic procedure. However, Harvard physicians are now offering face transplants to those who are already on immunosuppressants for organ transplants they’ve previously received. As you may imagine, the number of people who qualify for face transplants is rather small - as you’d have to have had an organ transplant and then coincidentally sustained severe trauma and tissue loss to the face.
The Boston Globe ran an interesting story on a man who was severely disfigured by facial burns and could have been eligible for a face transplant in France. He chose to undergo reconstruction from his own tissues, which requires no immunosuppression. He says that he is glad that his body is healthy, that he requires no medications, and that the risks of a face transplant are not worth the benefits, though he remains severely disfigured.
I think it’s interesting that the French took a different stand on this issue - allowing people to choose to have a cosmetic procedure at the expense of general health, longevity, and risk for life-threatening illness.
I have known patients who decline limb amputations for fear of disfigurement - even though the gangrene in the limb is sure to result in sepsis and eventual death. A person’s appearance and personal identity are sometimes inextricably linked - so that some would choose death over disfigurement (even of a limb). Is this choice pathological, or is it their right to choose? Given the choice between disfigurement or death, I’d choose disfigurement. I’d also not choose a face transplant over reconstruction from my own tissues, even if the aesthetic outcome is inferior. Still, I’m hesitant to say that those who’d rather live a shorter, less healthy life with a more natural face are unilaterally making the wrong choice for them. For the time being, though, people who wish to make that choice will need to do so outside of the US.This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
July 18th, 2007 by drval in News
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ABC news created an online photo album of the actors from the movie The Princess Bride. They display headshots of the actors from 20 years ago (when the film was created) beside a current image. It was a real eye-opener for me, seeing how these people have changed in appearance over the years - though in all fairness, ABC didn’t choose the most flattering follow up pictures. Nicer ones are displayed in the link to the movie above.
Nonetheless, this raises the issue of aging - and what each of us will look like in 20 years. I think a lot of it depends on the little choices we make each day - what we eat, if we exercise, if we’re stressed, if we have loving relationships in our lives… these little things add up and imprint themselves on our faces and bodies for all to see. What will your body say about you in 20 years? Mine’s going to have a lot of laugh lines, and probably a good deal of cellulite… ahem. But I’m going to keep aiming towards the leafy green veggies and regular exercise. If you’d like to join me, you’ll find some helpful programs right here at Revolution Health.
Bonus Link: My friend Tony Via suggested this link to fake celebrity makeovers (someone took the time to create how they might look as “normal” overweight Americans - thank you, Photoshop). Quite entertaining - and more fuel for the “eat right and exercise” plan.This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
