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The Differences Between Men & Women

Three of my favorite medical bloggers all posted hilarious observations about the differences between men and women.  I’m not sure what got them thinking on the same wavelength – maybe it’s because Father’s Day is coming up?

Dr. Rob writes:

You may have also noted that x-chromosomes have many more genes than
y-chromosomes. Many scientists believe that the feeling by many women
that jeans make them look fat comes from the fact that there are more
genes in a women’s body, and this is actually a cry for help from the
chromosomal level. Other scientists think these scientists are just
full of hooey.

Dr. Au writes:

Michelle: You accidentally threw out your old med school ID tag, but I rescued it.

Husband: Yeah, I saw that on the table. I threw it out again.

Michelle: Why would you throw it out? Wouldn’t you want to save that?

Husband: (Perplexed) Why?

Michelle: Because…because it’s nostalgic! Your old med student ID tag! Don’t you want to save that? Think how cool that’ll be, when you’re some old crusty attending, to have your med student name tag from the turn of the century!

Husband: Not…really. Why would I want that?

Michelle: Well, why do people save anything? Why do you save your med school diploma?

Husband: I need that to get a job.

Michelle: OK, bad example. Why do you save your graduation tassels?

Husband: I didn’t.

Michelle: You threw out your med school graduation tassel?

Husband: Well, I don’t remember saving it. What would I do with it?

Michelle: Look, if I have to explain why you would save something like that, you probably wouldn’t understand anyway.

Dr. Leap writes:

They [women] think we want nothing so much as another pineapple wall hanging
that they saw in Southern Living.  But men like gifts too!  We just
like them to be a little different.  We don’t want a day at the spa; we
want a day of quail hunting.  We don’t need a pedicure; we need to go
to the Indy 500 time trials.  We prefer to buy our own underwear,
thanks, but a pair of camouflage, Gore-Tex gloves for that winter
hunting trip would be really nice…

And over the years, I have developed a simple rule of three things that
almost every man will accept as a reasonable gift.  They are:  a pen, a
watch and a knife.  This will cover the gamut of almost all men in the
Western Hemisphere, and most in the rest of the world.  See, a pen
reminds us that our ideas and insights are meaningful, and sometimes
need to be recorded.  (And is useful for writing checks to buy flowers
and silky things on Mother’s Day).  A watch reminds us that our time on
earth is short, and we must use it well.  (And that we’re late for
work).   And a knife reminds us that we have capacity and usefulness;
that we are movers in our world, always armed with something that can
serve as tool or weapon as the need arises.  (And that we probably need
a tetanus shot).

I wonder if Dr. Leap’s advice also works well for “Metrosexuals?”  What do you think guys?  Is the best Father’s Day gift a pen, a watch, or a knife?This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.

The Wedding Circuit

This has been a really interesting week for me.  My “Top 10 Tips for a Healthy Wedding” really struck a nerve – and in an unparalleled flurry of interest, I have been speaking to groups of people on the radio and in podcasts about weddings, marriage, and the medical angle on this wonderful celebration of human connectedness.

I was speaking with Gordon Deal from the Wall Street Journal Radio Show (Gordon is a truly affable interviewer) and I got a question that I had not anticipated but in retrospect makes a lot of sense.  I was telling him about my decision to buy a wedding dress on the fly, picking one off the shelf in the first store I went to.  He transitioned nicely to: would you say that your financial decisions follow your style for purchasing dresses?  How have you and your husband worked through financial planning together?

Wow.  I had to think on my feet on that one – leave it to a Wall Street journalist to get a financial angle on a story.  My answer was truthful and brief – yes, my husband is more conservative than I am, but we have worked hard to get on the same page, thanks to a great financial advisor.  (Squirm)

Kristi King at WTOP (partnered with the Washington Post) was up next – and we had a nice chat about the do’s and don’ts of wedding diets.

Then I got to speak to a Randy & Ken in Oklahoma City on KOKC.  The weather report preceded my interview, and I couldn’t help but worry about the severe wind conditions down there.  When asked about some good tips for a healthy wedding I mentioned that having a plan B is critical – especially if you’ve planned an outdoor wedding with a tent in Oklahoma!

On the eve of my second wedding anniversary I participated in a blogger call with Dr. Charles Foster (who is an amazingly insightful psychologist and relationship counselor – you should definitely listen to this podcast because it is very well worth it if you have any problems whatsoever with in-laws or your own family).  We spoke with Rhonda from “Our Wedding Plus” blog and fielded questions from others remotely.

On I moved to a live show in Chicago with Theo & Gerrard at WVON (host to the Al Sharpton show) where we had a warm conversation about the meaning of marriage and the importance of a strong family nucleus for the fabric of American society.

There is at least one more interview awaiting (a contemporary music radio station in Hawaii) and I have to say that this has been one wild ride.  As a physician I feel totally privileged to have been given the chance to speak with such a wide variety of Americans about a joyful, complicated subject that unites us all – the wedding.

Now if my taxi hijacking post sparks this sort of interest, I suppose I might need to hang up the stethoscope and focus on social commentary and relationships.This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.

10 Tips for a Healthy Wedding

Here’s a copy of the Press Release, for those interested…

As an experienced June bride myself, I can tell you that
your wedding may be one of the happiest times of your life, but for a number of
reasons, health problems can crop up on and around this special day.  But with some advance planning,
you can make sure that you and your guests remember the day for the right
reasons, and not the wrong ones.

1.      Beat the Heat – Many June weddings are
planned months in advance (at a cooler time of year), when the prospect of
being outdoors is inviting.  But when
June arrives, wedding guests find themselves spending hours exposed to peak sun,
heat, and humidity.  And since weddings
often involve older relatives and younger children, the risk from sun and heat
exposure is higher than many expect.  If
you’re getting married outdoors, keep an eye on the heat, especially for your
oldest and youngest guests.  Have
sunscreen and plenty of water available.
Consider moving older guests to a shaded area.  To recognize the signs of heat exhaustion, visit:
Recognize
symptoms and find treatments for heat exhaustion
.

2.      The Size is Right – Many brides buy
their wedding dress a size smaller, with ambitious plans of weight loss – or
perhaps the dress fit well when it was bought, but  run up to the wedding (with the related stress),
has led to a slight weight gain.  Either
way, too many brides try crash dieting in the days and weeks before the wedding
to squeeze into that gown – and find failure, anxiety, and health problems.  If you want to lose weight for your wedding,
start in advance, and stick with a healthy, safe weight loss plan.  Crash diets are fittingly named:
you smack into a wall and find yourself worse off than before.  Brides also should keep an ear tuned to
bridesmaids engaged in crash dieting, and try to talk their friends out of such
bad habits.   Find
smart strategies for healthy weight loss.

3.      Sober Dialing – While many people don’t
think of drunk driving as a “health issue,” drinking and driving is one of our
county’s leading preventable causes of death.
A healthy wedding is one where the guests get home safe and sound.  Wedding planners should ensure that everyone
has a designated driver, arrange with a cab company to have a certain number of
cabs available at the end of the evening.
Or you can arrange for transportation to take guests back to their
hotel.  That way no one has to worry
about drinking and driving.  And make
sure you have plenty of non-alcoholic beverages for any guests who have alcohol
dependency issues
.

4.      Celebrate with a Healthy Meal
Everyone wants to treat their guests to a wedding meal to remember – but make
sure it is remembered fondly.  If you’re
holding your wedding outside, make sure that food, like potato salads and
shrimp, are properly cooled or kept on ice.  I know of a wedding where five of the guests got food poisoning from
this type of mistake.
And consider a lighter, healthier meal:
your guests will appreciate the chance to celebrate with you (without
needing to go on a diet the next week), and will find themselves feeling less
weighed down during the celebration.  Learn
about food poisoning and how to handle food safely.

5.      Get the Glow – Every bride wants to
look perfect on her wedding day.  But
that “glowing, radiant” skin can’t be had via makeup:  healthy choices make a big difference.  Try to keep your stress under control to
avoid an
acne breakout
.  And drink plenty of
water on the day before and the day of your wedding to keep your skin looking
great and your body feeling great. Check
here for more information on the importance of staying well-hydrated
.

6.      Dealing With Family Issues – Weddings
pose challenges not just to physical health, but emotional well-being,
too.  Unresolved family
issues have a not-so-funny way of erupting at a wedding, exacerbated by the
stress of the event
and intensified by the gathering of relatives who may
not often encounter one another.  Ask a
trusted relative to try to resolve these disputes before the wedding day, and if
you suspect they may nonetheless erupt at the wedding, have a “designated
diffuser” – a relative who can soften family conflicts or at least keep them
from ruining the celebration.

7.      Take Care of Yourself – You can’t have
a “healthy” wedding with an “unhealthy” bride.
Schedule some time to do things that help you relax.  Yoga, massage, a day trip, hiking or reading
a good book are all great ways to de-stress.
Learn
about other stress management tips.

As you prepare for your upcoming event, make sure you are getting 7-8
hours of sleep per night.  Being
well rested can help you avoid feeling irritable and anxious and can reduce
your chances of becoming ill
.

8.      Countdown
…Check-up
—  Maybe it’s not romantic,
but a comprehensive  physical exam is a
good idea for couples preparing for marriage.
Before you ask someone else to
say that they will love you “in sickness and in health,” you owe it to them to
know just where on that spectrum you stand.  Together you can plan to support one another
in long term, healthy lifestyle goals. Get a complete check up a few months
before the wedding, so you can understand and address any health issues before
you are at the altar.  Both women
and men
need complete and regular physicals.

9. A
Healthy Honeymoon
– Ok, you’ve made it all the way through the wedding in
good health, and now comes “the fun part:” the honeymoon.  But a surprising number of brides and grooms
wind up too sick to enjoy this first taste of wedded bliss.  Key tips:
make sure you don’t overindulge in food and drink at the wedding; plan
for the honeymoon like you would any other trip (with sunscreen for warm places
and precautions about drinking safe water and eating safe food); and make sure
you’ve had all necessary vaccinations well in advance of the wedding so you
aren’t suffering from vaccine side effects on wedding day.  Learn
more about health and travel
.  

10.  Waiting to Exhale – Take a deep breath
and remember that in the end, marrying the person you love is more important
than having a perfect ceremony or reception.
The wedding is just the start of the marriage – and hopefully, not the end.  The happiest and healthiest wedding is the
one that leads to a happy, healthy marriage.  Check out some great
tips
for keeping your marriage strong long after the wedding’s over.This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.

5 Running Lessons

It was a beautiful day for a run today, 72 degrees, light
wind, clear blue sky and lush foliage… the trail was busier than usual, with
bikers passing me every few minutes.  But
otherwise, it couldn’t have been a better day.
My running partner recently left DC to spend a couple of months working
in Morocco,
and I swore to myself that I wouldn’t completely go to pot while she was
gone.  So I forced myself to get into my
gear and go for a solo run.  Being alone
gave me the chance to reflect on 5 running lessons…

Don’t compare
yourself to others
– there will always be someone better, faster, fitter,
stronger, smarter…  It’s important to be
content with who you are, and do the best with what you’ve got.  At least, this is what I told myself as I was
passed by the majority of joggers on the trail, dragging myself along to mile
4.

Appreciate the beauty
of nature
– it’s so easy to take nature for granted.  I ran by a patch of mushrooms, and one had
been broken off its stalk and flipped over so I could see its little
vents.  How can a fungus know how to grow
into such a well organized structure?
How can the cells know to line up into soft, brown vents?  I don’t know… it seems pretty amazing to me
that one little organism can be so delicate, complex, and completely
independent.  It never asked anyone for
permission to be itself.  Meditating on
the whimsy and creativity that is abundant in the life around us can put things
into perspective.

Take responsibility
– no one’s going to help you get in shape.
It’s up to you to take care of your body.  I’m really bad at this – I don’t like to exercise
alone, and I sometimes put off getting in shape unless I have a partner for
accountability.  It’s as if I prefer to
delegate responsibility about my health to others.  I know that this is a common tendency in
medicine – where folks rely on their doctors, without taking responsibility for
applying their advice (for diet/exercise/medications) on a daily basis.

Exercise is a
life-long discipline
– as I thought about how hard it was to run, and how
heavy my legs felt, and how much easier all of this was just a couple of years
ago… I realized that exercise is not something you do every other weekend.  It really is best applied on a daily basis.  And being in shape is the result of
consistent hard work – so we have to focus our minds on making exercise a part
of our regimen, just as we make time to eat each day!

Don’t psych yourself
out
– part of your success or failure in exercising has to do with whether
or not you believe you can do it.  When
you’re running, you have to believe that you can make it the whole way… or that
you can run farther than you did last time.
The temptation is to quit when you start feeling a little tired, but you
have to keep going – encouraging yourself along the way with a positive
attitude.  Of course, if you really are
unable to make it (your heart rate is at its limit and you are breathing so
hard you can’t speak) then slow down.
But a lot of the time you’ll find that running an extra mile is a matter
of mindset, not physical capability.

Do you have running lessons to share?

This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.

The healing art of listening

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak.” That’s the old wisdom I was taught growing
up, though it sure is difficult to apply regularly and consistently, isn’t it? Nonetheless I can’t think of a better
principle for practicing good medicine.

I was reading Dr. Smith’s blog and was touched by his
observations:

Patients don’t know
how to put words on their pain, and there is no disease named for the pain that
the patient wants to tell you about.  It’s about the inner anguish of this
particular person’s quest for life, their disappointment, the abuse they have
experienced, their feelings of failure and lack of significance, their rage at
the injustices they endure and they don’t have anyone else but you to talk
to.  And, by having a relationship with a safe professional, some of their
pain is relieved and, in many cases, they get well or better!  In some
cases, they don’t, but that begins to matter less than the fact that you begin
to understand that “getting better” is not the goal here.  And,
if you keep trying to make the patient better with a prescription pad, they
will just keep bringing you new problems to chew on until you figure out what
they really need.

The truth is that at the root of many medical
misunderstandings is a listening problem. Sure we hear
lots of things, but in our rush to package complaints into a convenient
diagnosis we often miss the elephant in the room. An excellent example of a doctor practicing
good listening skills was described in Signout’s blog this week.

Some parents appeared a bit overly concerned
about their young child’s cold symptoms. The resident taking care of them
wisely recalled that the mom had mentioned that her aunt died of leukemia
as a child. The doctor made the
connection between that bit of history and their angst – and reassured the
parents that the child’s blood tests were normal, and did not suggest
leukemia (without them directly asking the question). The emotional relief that
ensued was the most therapeutic effect of the physician encounter that day.

The moral of the story is that listening really can be
a healing art. And it’s not just
reserved for psychologists and psychiatrists.

*another case of good listening here*This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.

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