This post begins with an ending. On February 27th, 2010, my beloved husband died in his sleep. His life ended and, in a way, mine did, too. Widowhood is a lonely word with a dark meaning, but life goes on. A new life begins when your old one ends.
Sorry I’ve been away so long. I missed my blog but I just didn’t know where to begin. I feel like I’ve just moved onto a new planet called Widowhood. Everything is different here. I’m walking on a landscape where everything is out of place. I’m filling out unfamiliar legal forms almost everyday, and I have to carry David’s death certificate in my handbag everywhere I go. Daily tasks are overwhelming. Cooking? What’s that? David cooked all of our meals at home so now I’m eating out. I feel insecure and that’s just not me. I don’t like living on this planet.
Then there’s the whole thing about going back to work. I was really nervous about that part because I’m a mental health nurse and it’s not good form to fall apart in front of your patients. I went back to work five days after David’s death. My boss and coworkers were very supportive. No one pressured me into coming back to work so soon, but it’s helping me feel normal again.
I want to thank my friends and family members for their love and support during my transition to Planet Widowhood. I especially want to thank my coworkers. They are working with a menopausal nurse who is in mourning. Good luck and God speed, guys. I’ll try not to be a pain in your backside.
*This blog post was originally published at Nurse Ratched's Place*