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The Twelve Days of Healthcare Reform

Today’s blog will be my last for 2010, as I will be taking a break to spend the Christmas and New Year’s holidays with family and friends.

In keeping with a tradition I started two years ago, I again have taken the liberty of mangling a beloved holiday song, story, or rhyme to give a humorous (I hope!) perspective on current politics. In December, 2008, I adapted “Twas the Night Before Christmas” to convey President-elect Obama as being a not-so-jolly old elf besieged by lobbyists demanding stimulus gifts. Last year, I depicted the GOP as the Grinch trying to stop “ObamaCare” from coming.

Today, I’ve re-written the “Twelve Days of Christmas” carol so that it is the government bestowing “gifts” (based on actual provisions of the Affordable Care Act) that the new Congress may later take away. (Of course, in the real world, the ACA’s changes won’t take place over 12 days, but over many years.)

Here goes:

“On the first day of health reform, the government gave to me,
A promise of health care, available universally.

On the second day of health reform, the government gave to me,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the third day of health reform, the government gave to me,
Insurance for my adult kids,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the fourth day of health reform, the government gave to me,
Tax credits for my small business,
Insurance for my adult kids,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the fifth day of health reform, the government gave to me,
Free Medicare visits for my mom,
Tax credits for my small business,
Insurance for my adult kids,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the sixth day of health reform, the government gave to me,
More money to my primary care doctor,
Free Medicare visits for my mom,
Tax credits for my small business,
Insurance for my adult kids,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the seventh day of health reform, the government gave to me,
Higher Medicare payroll taxes,
More money to my primary care doctor,
Free Medicare visits for my mom,
Tax credits for my small business,
Insurance for my adult kids,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the eighth day of health reform, the government gave to me,
Better benefits in my company’s plan,
Higher Medicare payroll taxes,
More money to my primary care doctor,
Free Medicare visits for my mom,
Tax credits for my small business,
Insurance for my adult kids,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the ninth day of health reform, the government gave to me,
Medicaid for my self-employed cousin,
Better benefits in my company’s plan,
Higher Medicare payroll taxes,
More money to my primary care doctor,
Free Medicare visits for my mom,
Tax credits for my small business,
Insurance for my adult kids,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the tenth day of health reform, the government gave to me,
Low cost insurance through an exchange,
Medicaid for my self-employed cousin,
Better benefits in my company’s plan,
Higher Medicare payroll taxes,
More money to my primary care doctor,
Free Medicare visits for my mom,
Tax credits for my small business,
Insurance for my adult kids,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the eleventh day of health reform, the government gave to me,
A fine if I don’t buy coverage,
Low cost insurance through an exchange,
Medicaid for my self-employed cousin,
Better benefits in my company’s plan,
Higher Medicare payroll taxes,
More money to my primary care doctor,
Free Medicare visits for my mom,
Tax credits for my small business,
Insurance for my adult kids,
Coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a promise of health care, available universally.

On the Twelfth day of health reform, John Boehner gave to me,
No funding for the Affordable Care Act,
No fine if I don’t buy coverage,
No low cost insurance through an exchange,
No Medicaid for my self-employed cousin,
No better benefits in my company’s plan,
No higher Medicare payroll taxes,
No more money to my primary care doctor,
No free Medicare visits for my mom,
No tax credits for my small business,
No insurance for my adult kids,
No coverage of my pre-existing conditions,
And a “Hell no!” * to health care, available universally!”

*On March 22, the day health reform passed the House, Rep. John Boehner (R-OH), who in January will become majority leader, famously invoked the “Hell No” mantra in expressing his opposition.

Today’s question: No question today, just my hope that you have a happy, prosperous holiday season and new year with family and friends!

*This blog post was originally published at The ACP Advocate Blog by Bob Doherty*


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