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Your mom will always be your mom, part 2

I’m afraid you’re going to need a box of tissues for this next post. My good friend Carolyn (she is the Cancer Center Manager at Revolution Health – and has a great blog) sent me a link to a story she wrote about a school program developed to raise awareness of the dangers of drunk driving. It’s called: “Fatal Choices – Shattered Dreams.”

Basically, the entire school goes through a detailed reenactment of a fatal car crash where several classmates are killed. Part of the program requires that all the kids (and their parents) imagine the goodbye letters they’d write if they knew they would be killed in a drunk driving crash. Carolyn and her daughter wrote these letters to one another, as they imagined this horrific scenario:

Dear Mom & Dad. I really don’t know what you are supposed to say in a good bye letter. I couldn’t even imagine waking up one morning and not coming back to see you later that same day. Today, that unimaginable thing became a reality. Dad – if I could go back to this morning knowing what the day would bring I wish more than anything that I just would have said I love you instead of griping about stupid things. I truly do love you and hope and wish that after my death, you can move on, heal and live an amazing life full of happiness. Mom – my only regret with you is that I did not even get to see or speak to you this morning. I would give a lot just to be able to see you this morning. You are the one person that I would not mind being completely like when I grow up, if I would have grown up. You are more than just my mom, you are the one I can talk to and count on. I love you so much! Both of you mean the world to me and I would give anything just to be able to say good bye. I love you with all my heart and I hope that after my death, everything will be OK. I wish you both the best life you could possibly have and please live it the way you would with me there – with happiness, excitement and adventure. Thank you for everything you have given me. You are the absolute best parents I could have asked for. I love you forever, wherever. Erica

Here’s what Erica’s mom, Carolyn, wrote:

We thought we had a lifetime to talk to you, call you on the telephone or e-mail you, but this will be the final time we will write:

Dear Erica, This is not the proper order of things – parents bury parents and grandparents. We are not supposed to bury our children, but yet, here we are saying good-bye for the last time. We hope you left this world knowing that we loved you more than life itself. If either of us could trade places with you, we would do so without hesitation. Our lives will never be the same. They say time heals all wounds, but not this one. We have holes in our hearts since you are gone, and we will be this way until the end of our days. We will never see you graduate from high school. We can imagine the smile on your face as you are with your friends when you leave high school for the last time as a graduate. We will miss seeing you swim in college, something we know you were looking forward to. We’ll never see you graduate from college – beginning what for most is the start of a lifetime of rich and fulfilling experiences. We will not see the love you show for others as you proceed with your career as a neo-natal nurse. How many babies will never know your soft and caring touch? We will never see you walk down the aisle with the love of your life. We will never hold your children. But the most tragic thing of all Erica, we will never hold you again – something we cannot bear, but must now deal with. Puffy, Puppy and Kissy are with you in your final resting place. We hope that whatever journey you take from here on – that they bring you comfort throughout eternity. Remember us as two people who loved you so much that even in death, we want you to be comfortable and at peace. Good-bye for the last time, Erica. This is not the proper order of things, but we will love you forever.

This sort of program and reflection may truly save lives… Do what you can to support this initiative.

This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at

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2 Responses to “Your mom will always be your mom, part 2”

  1. wellth says:

    Oh my. I was really not intending to cry today. I agree – what an eye opener.

  2. Fabulousgirl says:

    This is so touching and more importantly reality. We’re never promised tomorrow and should live each day like it’s our last! Always and I mean always say I love you to the one’s you love dearly. I have to go to the bathroom now to wipe my tears…

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