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Foot-in-Mouth Disease, Part 1

As my regular readers know, my husband has a really dry sense of humor. Couple that with a kind heart filtered by a data-driven mind and you get some fairly “harsh” sounding statements that are meant well, but come out oh so horribly wrong. I’ve heard that many men have struggled with “foot-in-mouth disease”… and so for you ladies who love them, and men who can relate, this one’s for you.

What not to say when you’re jogging

So, I’m not a natural athlete – but I try really hard to stay in shape and have been working extra hard recently because I’m leading a weight loss group here at Revolution Health. I like being outdoors so I figured that jogging would be the right sort of endeavor for a slightly uncoordinated person like me. Of course, hubby is part-human, part-gazelle, so running is right up his alley. I’m probably more part-human, part-water buffalo (if we stick with the African theme here) so let’s just say it’s a bit harder for me to keep up with hubby. Nonetheless I was brave enough to ask to run with him – I thought it would motivate me as well as get both of us out in nature.

We jogged every other day for a few days together, and I was huffing along doing my very best to keep pace and also not die. Hubby was quiet the entire time until one day he looked down at me thoughtfully and said,

“Have you ever considered doing a sport you’re good at?”

I was flabbergasted. I gave him “the look.”

“Well, I just mean that this is obviously quite difficult for you and you might enjoy something that’s more suited to…”

I looked at him, beet red, sweaty and incredulous. “More suited to WHAT?”

“Well… um… perhaps you’d like to hike?”

“Hike where? All the land around us is flat. Do you mean WALK?”

“Sure, walking might be a good option for you.”

And so ended my jogging routine with hubby. I’m vaguely looking for a running partner who’s more my speed. But perhaps I’ll just default to having my husband walk next to me while I jog?This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at

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2 Responses to “Foot-in-Mouth Disease, Part 1”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Walking or hiking is just as good as jogging ; used to do lots when I went on holidays many years ago .

  2. PearlsAndDreams says:

    I won, as a door prize, a 2 week membership in the gym that my pastor has part ownership.

    I started to work out there on Monday. The gym is in a ‘nicer’ area of town, and I walked in and everyone was dressed in not just work out clothes but ‘WORK OUT’ clothes. A little intimidated … I almost turned around.

    I decided “nope” I want these 2 weeks! Tough! Besides, I know what I’m doing in there!

    So, I get this personal trainer who sees my out of shape body and obviously has some prejudices to out of shape people.

    He starts to show me around, some what condescending tone, sends me into the women’s locker to lock my stuff up, then I come out and get started on the cardio equipment. (I stay off the treadmill because my balance isn’t the best).

    Then I go to the weight machines. 

    He starts to explain, in a somewhat condescending tone how I should stand, and hold the weights … and as I grab, I take perfect stance and holding the weights before he can finish … and you see the surprise on his face. (WOW ! She knows what she’s doing!!! ) The comment then slips out “you’ve done this before!”

    “Um, yes, before I had lupus, I was an athelete.” He turns red as my pastor walks up …(my pastor’s wife ..has lupus as well).

    My pastor and I talked for a bit while I worked out, and the trainer just watched. Feeling that size 12 foot in his mouth. Probably a bit worried that his boss had caught him sticking it there as well.

    Today’s work out didn’t go as well. Don’t know if I overdid it on Monday trying to show off to the trainer, or if it was just a bad day …but I could barely do anything. At least today I was on my own and no one was there to see me look like a myasthenic trying to lift weights

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