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Kids Say The Darndest Things

I’ve been reading Mindy Roberts’ hilarious book: Mommy Confidential: Adventures From The Wonderbelly of Motherhood. I particularly enjoy the moments she captures about her son, Will. I thought I’d share some excerpts with you to give you a good chuckle:


Today at Jake’s 6th birthday party, Will rushed up to me saying, “Mommy! There’s a dead squirrel over there! Hurry mommy, before he goes to heaven!”


Will is obsessed with size differentials among animals and the relative strengths and weaknesses of each as they relate to other predators. He wants to know exactly how big everything is so that he can determine how many predators it takes to bring down each type of prey. Among the factors are: height, weight, speed, habitat, how far it can jump, whether it can rear up, whether it can swim, and how sharp the teeth are. Usually he wants to know if, say, 20 wolves can take on 10 tigers, but this morning’s question took the cake. “Daddy, can 10 monkeys take down a zebra?”

You can find Mindy’s book at her website.This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at

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2 Responses to “Kids Say The Darndest Things”

  1. C Coleman Brown MD says:

    as the father of a daughter like the one in the Volvo commercial, I know exactly to what she refers. hilarious to say the least. My favorite was from a few years ago when my wife was pregnant with our second child, a boy, and was pretty far along. She says, “mommy, you sure got your tummy on you.” wow! I could never get away with that! and she told my mother-in-law whose below the jawline anatomy has been affected by time and gravity, “you sure got your neck on you”!

    who can forget such candidness and hilarity. i will have to pick up the book for more.

  2. Mindy Roberts says:

    My fav was my friend’s stepdaughter saying, “Boy, your tummy sure is getting big! And your underwear sure is getting small!”

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