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Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns

A friend of mine sent me this fake advice column entry (“Dear Walter” instead of “Dear Abby”). I’m so sorry that I don’t know who the original author is, but I’ve seen it around on some blogs. Let me know if you think it rings true!

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out, and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help.

When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbor lady.  I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months.  I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago, and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won’t go to counseling and I’m afraid I can’t get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila


Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.

I hope this helps.


This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at

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3 Responses to “Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns”

  1. scanman says:

    While Walter is right in his assessment of the problem, I think he forgot one of the basic lessons that is taught to people in customer care in the automobile & computer industry. Women don’t see the obvious things.

    The problem could have been something as simple as an empty fuel tank.

    I think it is imperative that women learn to check these small details before pulling out of the driveway.

    I hope THIS was helpful

  2. ValJonesMD says:

    Spoken like a true scanMAN. Lol

  3. says:

    Hello Dr V,

    I know this was more a a joke, yet, I can’t help to think you might really believe that can’t give good advice in a newspaper column setting.  Just the other day at my pool cleaning job I had a woman distort ask me for help. She was worried about her cat falling into her pool and not being able to swim. She told me as she held the beautiful award winning Persian cat next to her custom in-ground pool. So I push them both in to the pool!  Ya know what, that cat, we she can swim! But,Miss Smith, well, not well. 



    no cats where injured in this story… and Miss Smith learned to swim!

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