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The $456 Billion Meme

May 8th, 2007 by Dr. Val Jones in Medblogger Shout Outs
2 Comments »

Many thanks to Dr. Rob at the Musings of a Distractible Mind
blog for tagging me with the 456 billion dollar meme…  The idea of this game is to think of the best
way to spend 456 billion dollars.  Sam at
BlogMD started this meme when considering how the total amount of money spent
on the war in Iraq may have been better spent (he suggests that we could have
cured cancer by giving that money to the NCI instead).  By contrast, Rob’s proposal is rather whimsical, exploring
the number of llamas and goats that could have been purchased for that amount
of cash.

I’m of two minds – part of me wants to be silly, the other
wants to be serious (a tension that is part of Rob’s daily inner struggle)… but
in this case I’m afraid that silly wins.

Silly Val

My apologies to Sam for allowing his noble meme to
deteriorate so rapidly into chaos but what did you expect, tagging a goat loving
guy who blogs about the history of accordions?
It’s not surprising that his pals would wander off into uncharted animal
territory, rather than suggesting solutions that might actually achieve world
peace.

I myself have a special fondness for any animal whose face
bears an expression of astonishment, goofyness, or inquisitiveness.  Some animals are just plain cute because of
their whimsical behavior.

Given my recent concern about melamine and pet food tainting
– I suppose the 456 billion could be used to create US regulated, safe, animal
food factories to support the culinary needs of kitties and doggies everywhere…
except in China, of course, where they make pet food but eat pets.  There’s some kind of irony in there somewhere…

Of course, humans are people too… and I also worry about the
safety of the food supply for them.  The
latest food debacles (salmonella in Cadbury’s chocolate bars and in US
peanut butter, as well as the E. coli/spinach issue) highlight the fact that
even the West’s attempts to regulate and monitor food safety have fallen down
on the job.

So… in honor of the culinary medical blog “The Blog That Ate Manhattan” – our Grand
Rounds host this week – I am voting to use the $456 billion on safe food for
pets and people.  Since math isn’t my
forte, I’m not sure exactly how the cost break down will go, but I think it’s
something like:

Cost of creating internationally safe pet food: $50 billion

Cost of creating an air-tight FDA process for ensuring human
food and drug safety: $100 billion

Cost of setting up safe, organic producers of healthy food
all over the world: $306 billion

The cost of a fat, juicy, 100% Salmonella-free wild fish
steak on summer barbeque grill… priceless.

I tag the following bloggers to tell me what they would do
with $456 billion…  Dr. Charles, Dr. Joe,
Dr. Charlie, Dr. Jeff, and Mira Kirshenbaum.This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.

A little medical humor

April 29th, 2007 by Dr. Val Jones in Humor
1 Comment »

I got a good laugh from a few sarcastic posts lately.  This first one (via Graham) is about the
medicalization of modern life (where every symptom must have a diagnosis):

Consumer: I get
very moody if I don’t eat in the morning. If I don’t eat until 3-4pm I get
headaches, drowsiness and feel nauseous… I think I’ve always had this. Since
I usually eat enough it doesn’t really bother me. I’m 21, male, and a
vegetarian. What do I have?

Physician: You have a condition
known as hunger.

The good news: it is easily treatable

The bad news: there is no permanent cure

This condition can be treated at a specialized clinic, the one you want is
known as a restaurant. This condition can also be treated at home, but you will
need specialized supplies from a grocery store. Most sufferers find that
several treatments per day are necessary.

———

And this conversation was pretty funny (though I can’t for
the life of me find where I read it – sorry I would certainly love to give
attribution here):

Physician: we’re
going to need to get an MRI of your teenager’s head since he had a seizure.

Mom: why are you
going to get an MRI of his head, it was his body that had the seizure!

Have you heard any good jokes lately?

This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.

Humorous interlude about health insurance…

April 10th, 2007 by Dr. Val Jones in Humor
2 Comments »

I’m doing my best to prepare my weekly round up of the best of Revolution’s expert blogs… but it’s taking a little longer than usual, so here’s a funny little excerpt from a Dave Barry calendar to tide you over…

In the 1950s, medical paperwork was simple: The doctor gave you a bill. That was it. Whereas today, if you get involved with the medical care system in any way, you will spend the rest of your life wading through baffling statements from insurance companies. I speak with authority here. At some point in the past, some member of my family apparently received medical care, and now every day, rain or shine, my employer’s insurance company sends me at least one letter, comically titled, EXPLANATION OF BENEFITS. It’s covered with numbers indicating my in-network, out-of-pocket deductible; my out-of-network, nondeductible pocketable; my semi-pocketed, nonworkable, indestructible Donald Duckable, and so on. What am I supposed to DO with this information?

This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.