June 5th, 2009 by MotherJonesRN in Better Health Network
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I wrote this post a long time ago when I first started blogging. I’m recycling the post because this information bears repeating. I’ve been seeing some behavior lately that is inappropriate, and I’m telling you this stuff for your own good. Please, never roll your eyes at a nurse who is old enough to be your mother. She may be going through menopause, and it could be the last thing that you ever do. Just sayin.’ Don’t make waves at the nurses station.
I worked as a neurosurgical nurse many years ago at a teaching hospital in the Midwest, and twice a year a new crop of interns descended upon our unit. It was the best show in town. The spectacle began with the chief of neurosurgery, Dr. Holier Than Thou, strutting on to the unit with his entourage marching behind him. He stood before the crowd in his impeccable white lab coat, telling everyone within earshot of his importance, and how he held the power of life and death in his hands. I would sit at the nurses station and snicker at the biannual parade, and remembered my first day in the hospital as a nursing student. Two interns had asked me to go into a patient’s room to get a set vitals signs. They didn’t tell me that the patient was cold, stone dead. I walked into the patient’s room, saw the dearly departed, and calmly walked back to the nurses station to find the interns laughing their fannies off. I told them they were going to make damn good doctors one day, but first they had to learn what rigor mortis looked like. Nonetheless, because every new group of interns looked like lambs being lead to slaughter, I pitied them, and I gave them information to use as a survival guide. These are the rules I taught them about working with nurses.
1) Nurses deserve respect. We are with the patients twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, while doctors are only able to see patients a few minutes a day. Smart interns forge alliances with the nursing staff, and understand that nurses can save their butts when something goes wrong with one of their patients.
2) Don’t take the last piece of pizza in the nurses lounge unless you are invited to do so. Nurses are territorial about food.
3) Nurses do not tolerate interns with a budding God complex. Nurses have no problem calling arrogant interns every hour on the hour for Tylenol orders, especially at night. Arrogance breeds contempt.
4) Don’t be stupid. If you want to complain about nursing care, be careful when you approach a nurse who is working the last half of a double shift. Refer to rule #3.
5) Nurses are your friends. We want to see you succeed, and if we like you, we will make sure that Dr. Holier Than Thou doesn’t find out that you order Demerol 1000 mg, instead of 100 mg, IM q 4 hours PRN because you were dead on your feet after being on call for three days in a row.
*This blog post was originally published at Nurse Ratched's Place*
June 3rd, 2009 by Emergiblog in Better Health Network
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FROM THE “BEST OF EMERGIBLOG” FILES, ORIGINALLY POSTED AUGUST 16, 2005, THIS WAS ONE OF THE VERY FIRST POSTS OF THE THEN BRAND-NEW EXPERIMENT KNOWN AS “EMERGIBLOG”
I never knew this game existed until I did a web search for the character! There are actually pristine, unopened Cherry Ames games on eBay.
No, I didn’t buy one. Seventy-five dollars is a wee bit too much to pay, although I did spend that much on a vintage Barbie outfit about ten years ago.
Hey, it came with the original shoes and Barbie fans know it’s all about the shoes!
(UPDATE 5/09: My co-worker gave me all of her Cherry Ames books – a complete set – and a copy of the game, in perfect condition!)
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Those who study human behavior should spend a shift in the emergency department.
The games played in the ER make the Olympics look like a tetherball tournament. Some of the participants are patients and some are staff. Some are gold-medalists in their specialty and some arrive a few feet short of a full balance beam.
Let’s take a look at “The Emergency Olympic Games”:
“The Suck-Up”
Usually the player is suffering from an acute lack of an opiate prescription for chronic pain symptoms with a nebulous origin for which they have not been evaluated by a doctor but they have an appointment with a specialist next week but they ran out of their Vicodin and they just cannot bear it.
Said patient is overwhelmingly complimentary to Team Nursing . The targeted nurse is SO much nicer than any other nurse anywhere in the whole world and gee, that other nurse was so rude they wish ALL nurses were just like you! These compliments are dispensed within 3.5 seconds of spotting the nurse, often making said RN feel an acute need for a shower.
The player realizes she is out of medal contention when the targeted nurse responds with, “Gee, thanks, but I just came in to get a Betadine swab….”
”Mean Medical Matchup”
This game is closely related to the Suck-Up, utilizing the same team.
Player has been evaluated by the ER doctor, who, having the audacity to disbelieve their story, has gone for the gold and verbalized his lack of belief to the patient. Bottom line: no prescription. The patient prepares for this event with the “Which Doctor is On Tonight?” drill, using a telephone to assess the playing field before engaging the opponent.
“Peek-a-Boo Bypass”
This event requires a large team that converges on the patient’s playing field soon after the patient’s arrival. Anyone can make the Peek-a-Boo team, although it is usually composed of family members and friends of many generations.
Upon arrival, Team Nursing announces the event rule: only two members of the Peek-a-Boo team on the field at a time. This is met with a courteous response and extraneous members go to the bench in the waiting room, where the goal is getting back onto the playing field without Team Nursing noticing. This is accomplished by one Peek-a-Boo team member returning to the patient at a time until the bedside number has quadrupled. Stealth and dexterity are assets to this goal. Occasionally Team Security will act as referee.
“The Two Guy Offense”
The preliminaries for this event take place off the Emergency Stadium grounds.
The player reports a spontaneous assault by Team Two Guys. The members of this team are always unknown to the patient and the initiation of contact always unprovoked.
The goal of Team Patient is to obtain care from Team Medical with minimal disclosure of the playbook. The involvement of Team Police is always declined as so as not to incur a penalty. Team Two Guys apparently has many expansion franchises.
“The Two Beer Defense”
Team Patient enters the arena via Team Paramedic, having received a report of “player down” on the sidelines of a local Team Seven-Eleven. Team Patient arrives supine on a movable gamepiece.
Upon arrival in ER Stadium, body fluids are released for assessment by Team Nursing who immediately take defensive positions. Performance-enhancing ETOH is suspected as the characterisic Odor Offense is noted. Team Medical waits for the Designated Cleaners and takes the field.
Minimal interaction takes place between the teams for many hours at which point Team Patient verbalizes that he only had “two beers”. Team Medical knows to multiply this number by 58. Team Patient is taken out of the medals race on a credibility technicality.
“The Decibel Debate”
Team Patient attempts to propel themselves off the bench and onto the playing field by increasing their verbal intensity. Team Nursing counters with internal auditory blocking mechanisms. The goal: Team Patient enters playing field at appropriate interval. Team Patient rarely medals in this event.
“The Titanic Panic”
Team Patient arrives, usually via Team Paramedic, complaining of numbness, chest pain, shortness of breath and near-syncope occurring at the preliminary event at Home Arena which involved a “Decibel Debate” with another member of Team Family.
The Peek-a-Boo team arrives to act as cheerleaders for the event. No medal is awarded, as the full cardiac work-up that ensues turns out to be negative. An Academy Award nomination, however, would be appropriate.
These are just some of the Emergency Olympic events to which I have a front row seat and perpetual season tickets!
*This blog post was originally published at Emergiblog*
June 1st, 2009 by Medgadget in Better Health Network
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Kidnapping Evacuating babies doesn’t seem hard in theory, but imagine you are a lone nurse working in the newborn nursery when that code red goes off. Now, most likely you wouldn’t do much considering code reds go off if you so much as wink in a fire alarm’s direction. But, if you really need to get Costco amount of babies out of the building, then BabyScatt seems like a reasonable option.
From the website:
The BabyScatt is designed to Evacuate 6 babies at one time.
This cocoon like evacuation device has bumper bars on all sides to protect in case of falling debris or possible obstructions in the pathway. After reaching a place of refuge the BabyScatt continues to protect and provide a safe place for the babies to rest in the individual pockets.
Check out the product page here…
(Hat Tip: Gizmodo)
*This blog post was originally published at Medgadget*
May 28th, 2009 by MotherJonesRN in Better Health Network
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Nurses are experts at navigating through rough waters. We are always there for our patients in their time of need. Check this nurse out. She is using her critical thinking skills while she sails her boat through a stormy ocean. It’s true. Nurses can do just about anything, just so long as they have a good mentor to show them the way.
From time to time, I get letters from new psych nurses asking me for advice.
I was very lucky when I first started out as a psych nurse. Nurses and doctors who gave me valuable tips when I was new in the field surrounded me on the unit, and made sure that I didn’t get myself into trouble. Here are some pearls of wisdom that my mentors passed onto me when I was the new kid on the block. I hope they help you, too.
Pearl of wisdom #1: The first rule that I learned was that I never was to accept abuse from a patient. Patients may be angry about how things are going in their life, but they must learn to vent their anger appropriately. That means no hitting, swearing, or throwing stuff at other people. Period! Just because someone has “problems” doesn’t give them a license to act inappropriately on the unit. Seriously. Nurses are not punching bags. We have rights. Nurses must teach their patients to function in the real world, and we do them a disservice if we allow our patients to act out on a psych unit.
Pearl of wisdom #2: The second pearl of wisdom has to do with the myth that nurses can say something wrong to a psych patient. Many nurses are afraid that a patient will crumble if they say the wrong thing to the wrong person. I’ve never seen this happen during my nursing career. Just listen to your patients with your ears and with your heart. Everything else will fall into place.
Pearl of wisdom #3: Never turn your back on a patient. This is self explanatory. Psych units are unpredictable.
Pearl of wisdom #4: Don’t get offended if a patient hates you. That probably means that you are doing your job. Many patients come to the hospital because they have boundary issues, and issues involving the need for immediate gratification.
Pearl of wisdom #5: Never forget that you are a REAL nurse. You may not be caring for a wounded body, however you are caring for a wounded soul.
*This blog post was originally published at Nurse Ratched's Place*
May 21st, 2009 by MotherJonesRN in Better Health Network
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My husband and I did something amazing last weekend. We went out to see the new Star Trek movie before it came out on DVD. You may not find this to be mind-blowing, but we are frugal people. We don’t part with our money easily.
At first I hadn’t planned on seeing the movie. I was afraid that the new movie was going to be a crappy sequel, so I wasn’t going to waste my money on it. Like I said, I’m cheap. Then I heard some of the younger nurses on my unit talking about the movie at work. These kids couldn’t stop talking about the movie. I was amused by their verbiage as they described the movie. One nurse said that the movie was “new, different, and completely groundbreaking.” I just rolled my eyes. I guess they forgot that old nurses like me were watching Star Trek back in the 1960s on our black and white television sets. I just smiled and flashed them the Vulcan peace sign and said, “Live long and prosper.”
My husband and I bit the bullet. We bought our movie tickets, along with a $20 bucket of popcorn, and we walked into the theater just in time to catch the 11 AM matinee. There weren’t too many other people in the place, and the ones who were there were all AARP eligible just like us. I guess my husband and I weren’t the only two old timers who wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I’m not going to give away the plot, but the storyline delves into how the characters first meet up. Unfortunately, Nurse Chapel was nowhere to be seen in this movie. Maybe she’ll show up in their next movie as a student nurse. I’d love to see her in her student nurse pinafore and wearing her nurses cap. They just better not make her into some sort of sex kitten. See my previous rant about Nurse Jackie.
I give the new Star Trek Movie an arthritic thumbs up. Geezers, impress your younger coworkers at the nurses station and go see the movie. They will find it quaint you know about Captain Kirk. You don’t have to tell them that you knew who he was before they were born.
*This blog post was originally published at Nurse Ratched's Place*
I wrote this post a long time ago when I first started blogging. I’m recycling the post because this information bears repeating. I’ve been seeing some behavior lately that is inappropriate, and I’m telling you this stuff for your own good. Please, never roll your eyes at a nurse who is old enough to be your mother. She may be going through menopause, and it could be the last thing that you ever do. Just sayin.’ Don’t make waves at the nurses station.
