Being the first group of parents to have to have to parent an all digital generation of kids, it’s no wonder our brains go on overload trying to sort out not only how to use all things digital but keep our developing kids safe and thriving in their ever digital lives.
I talked about these issues today on Fox25 Boston and highlighted the new social media and sexting tips out from the American Academy of Pediatrics in honor of Internet safety month. Here’s the clip of the segment with all the details:
To remember the key points of the new AAP tips, I came up with the mnemonic “TECH”:
T: talk to your kids about their technology use and what they think of technology and the issues they hear about online.
E: educate yourself about the technology your kids are using, your kids about the issues, and your community about the need for youth education programs in schools as support for the issues
C: check your kids online profiles and logs often, and sometimes without warning
H: have a family tech use plan and follow-through when violations occur.
We know how to parent off line. We know how to create consequences when curfews are broken and expectations for social rules and proper behavior are not met. What we have to do now is modify our already great parenting skills to the online world. These tips are the first step!
Plus, keep in mind, you are not alone. Not only are all the parents around you in the same boat but you have experts like me here to help answer your questions about the high tech lives of kids.
I had a great chat after the segment with many FoxNews25 viewers and will post what we talked about soon so everyone can benefit. In the meantime, if you have questions about your own “Networked Family” or a story to share from your own “Networked Family” archives, email me at ideas@pediatricsnow.com.
*This blog post was originally published at Dr. Gwenn Is In*
After you get over the urge to run and hide, lock your teen in the bathroom, shave his or her head, and save yourself, take a deep breath and think about what is important here. You are likely panicked because you know that sooner or later someone will break your teens heart – and there is nothing you can do about it, or is there?
Talk to your teen and share what you are feeling as well as what you know. Being new to the world of love/lust/hormones, there are some really great conversations to be had now about balance, friendship, and healthy relationships! First, your teen may be overwhelmed with how wonderful it feels to be in love and you can help remind your teen about balance, and the importance of not losing themselves for love. Your teen needs to stay “true to self” instead of becoming an appendage to the new love. Encourage your teen to stay connected to friends, school, outside activities, family, and sports, while making room for the new love.
You might mention that if that becomes an issue, you can help by setting limits on the amount of hanging out at home, phone, text, and computer time, to help her learn to balance life and love/lust/hormones. This is not a threat – just a supportive way to help your teen transition in the world of love!
Together you can set the expectations that honor this new part of life, make your teen feel listened to and involved with the new contract – the new couple spends time with the family, grades stay up, activities continue, chores, whatever else her life includes must all continue – because your teen has to be a “person” first before a girlfriend or boyfriend. The We’re Talking web site has a great section called the abcs of healthy relationships, which will provide many reminders about knowing when a relationship is not healthy.
Along those same lines, it is important to talk about the importance of friendship – and how you want the first few months together to be spent with family – because early in relationships the goal is to learn to trust each other, find things that you have in common, and become parts of each others lives. Friendship is stronger in the long run than hormones – and if either member of the couple is motivated by anything else other than love – s/he will not make it through the “getting to know all about you” phase.
P.S. Remember that the greater the age difference, and the more time alone they share, the more likely teens will take new love to sexual realms, so be aware and good luck!
Get Your Fruit On! I love this new tagline from Tropicana. Statistics show that 7 out of 10 Americans are not getting enough fruit in their daily diets. The Dietary Guidelines encourage us to get 2 cups of fruit per day. For those who do get their fruit, many are getting it from 100% orange juice.
Children are especially susceptible to not getting enough fruit. An 8 ounce glass of 100% orange juice has:
2 servings of fruit
120% of Vitamin C
13% of Potassium
15% of Folic Acid
No Sugar Added
110 Calories
Tropicana is actually donating up to a quarter of a million fruit servings in the form of Tropicana Pure Premium 100% orange juice to the USDA Summer Food Service Program and the School Breakfast Program. Both programs offer free or reduced price nutritious meals to children in low- income areas. Tropicana did this by getting 5,000 Americans to pledge to increase their fruit intake.
I saw my niece over the weekend. She just turned seven. She had a bit of a fever and wasn’t feeling very well, so when I saw her snuggled up on the couch under a blanket, she looked every bit the little kid she is. Poor little peanut, hiding out until she felt better.
I remembered that I was about her age when I was diagnosed.
I found an old school photo from second grade, with me sitting next to my friend Bobby (who I still talk to, which is a very surreal experience, hanging out with someone I’ve known longer than I’ve known insulin injections). I was diagnosed in September, right as second grade started.
I’m in the blue dress, second row from the bottom, third from the left.
Swinging my feet. Not much for sitting still, even in second grade.
Over the last few days, I’ve been reading some emails from the CWD parents as they gear up for the Friends for Life conference in Orlando in a few weeks. These emails are sent out to a whole mailing list of attendees, and somehow I ended up on the list with all the parents. (Or maybe the list just happens to be mostly parents and I just happen to be an adult “kid” with diabetes.) These parents are comparing notes and reaching out to one another, looking forward to other parents who understand what they’re going through every day as they care for their kid with diabetes.
And I wish that my mother had this kind of support when she was dealing with my diagnosis over twenty years ago. My mom had a lackluster team of doctors at the Rhode Island Hospital (where I went for a few months before going to Joslin) and Eleanor (the only other mother of a diabetic kid that we knew of in our town and the woman who just happens to be my local Dexcom rep), leaving her with little to manage the enormous learning curve.
This weekend, I went on a bike ride with my sister-in-law, my father-in-law, and my husband. I had to remember to test beforehand, bring my meter, stash some glucose sources on several people, and monitor as re rode. A lot of thought for maybe an hour long bike ride. And it made me wonder what kind of preparation and worry my mother went through when she sent me out to play for a whole Saturday afternoon. Lot of work on my mom’s part just to keep things normal.
I forget this sometimes, how many people are really involved in keeping me healthy.
I need to call my mom.
(Granted, my diabetes diagnosis hasn’t kept me from doing much at all. And it definitely didn’t keep me from being … um, a bit of a goofball.)
*This blog post was originally published at Six Until Me.*
With health care reform being the talk of the week – a top priority for President Obama and for the AMA, who wants to be sure that America’s physicians are not just talked about in the reform process but included – I can’t help but wonder if the entire system will be reevaluated or if we will end up with just another band aid.
What worries me is that it’s not just the practical end of medicine that is broken. It is not just the billing end that is unhealthy. It’s not just the reimbursement and billing end that is broken. The overall culture of how we practice medicine is broken as well as the educational system in which and through which our next generation of physicians are being trained.
In this Spring’s issue of the Tufts University Medical School Alumni Magazine, my medical school Alma Mater, resident life style issues were at the core of their headline article. Reading the article, Pressure Drop, by Susan Clinton Martin, M.D., M.P.H, ’04, a pediatrics resident, I was at times propelled back in time to my pediatrics residency at the same institution in the early 1990’s have discussions with my adviser and residency director about whether I wanted to go part time. As I was in my junior year of my pediatrics’ residency and expecting my first child, this was not an easy decision to make and I had seen mixed results with other residents who had attempted this path before me.
In the end, I opted to not go part-time and for the reasons stated in the article for most residents not opting for this path:
1. longer length of overall residency
2. decreased pay and benefits (not ideal with a baby at home!)
3. resentment of colleagues for fear of extra work on their plates
4. lack of support of the program
The honest truth is all of these issues were at play back in the 90’s with me and my colleagues and still exist today. I opted to just forge ahead and deal with having a baby and being a full time resident. I don’t regret that decision. I had the support of some attending physicians and colleagues, friends, my husband and a wonderful nanny who a PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) Attending introduced me to. It wasn’t easy but is there ever a great time to have a baby in the medical profession? Let’s be honest – residency is one of the most challenging times for a physician and adding any stress to the plate makes it worse.
Balancing work and family is never easy for any career but particularly challenging as a doctor and incredibly challenging as a resident physician where you don’t control your time. Residency programs have rather rigid schedules and even the most thought through back up systems don’t accommodate the last minute life issues that can occur unexpectedly when you are a new parent and have a new baby at home. Residencies try to be reasonable when life issues emerge but it isn’t always easy and there is always some sort of “pay back”. Even when unexpected life issues emerge – daycare crises, infant illness, or a family crisis, it’s almost easier to find a way to get to your shift. That’s how intense the pressure is on you at the time. I recall seeing an Attending pregnant with her 3rd child in tears one day because some small issue had unraveled at home. I asked a mentor about it and she told me “You’ll see when your baby comes. Some days the pressure just gets to you. Just come talk to one of us. There are a few who understand and can help.”
Reading that Dr. Martin was brave enough to go part time was like seeing a rose among weeds. The benefit to her and her family was enormous. When working her “on” months, she can focus and feel less guilty, knowing her time with her family is coming. When she has her “off” months, she’s refreshed “emotionally accessible” to her family.
A recent study by Martin’s program director Dr. Robert Vinci showed that today’s medical students value part time options in residency programs, yet few residents are utilizing those options when they do exist and the majority of programs are still very traditional. According to the article, only 25% of US residencies have part time options with only 10% of residents in those programs utilizing the part time paths.
So, there’s a big disconnect in medical education between desire for better lifestyle and what is available, no different than what those of us who have completed our education and training have experienced within the health care system for years. While it’s discouraging that our caring profession doesn’t have a system that allows us to care for ourselves and our families, it’s encouraging that we are all finally speaking up that balance between work and home isn’t a frill but a necessity – even for physicians.
This is why it is so crucial that doctors at every level of today’s health care system not only have a voice in the health care system discussions under way but be the key players in crafting the new system. This is our career, our life’s work. We would never tell the Government how to do their jobs…what makes them think they call tell us how to do ours?
*This blog post was originally published at Dr. Gwenn Is In*
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