June 17th, 2009 by Gwenn Schurgin O'Keeffe, M.D. in Better Health Network, Opinion
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Cell phones are their feature are an ever growing topic in today’s families. It used to be that the hot button issue was whether to get the phone. Now, we have to deal with all the features: texting, Internet, camera…to name the tip of the iceberg!
Clearly we’re becoming a more mobile society with our cell phones taking over features previously reserved for our computers. A recent Nielsen Wire report confirms this observation showing that in Q1 of 2009 21% of cell phone owners used their phones to search the Internet, up from 16% in Q4 of 2008.
At the moment, digital plans are pricey so it’s easy to lock our kids out of their cell phone Internet access. However, not too long ago we said the same exact thing about texting and now we have affordable unlimited texting plans.
Given the impulsivity of tweens and teens and how difficult it is for us to help kids with appropriate Internet use on computers, do we want to open the door to having them have access to the Internet on cell phones? Once data plans become more affordable, should we let them have cell phone internet access?
Perhaps it would be easier to answer if asked slightly differently. How are our teens and tweens doing with the digital cell phone freedom they have right now? Given the rise of extreme texting and sexting, I’d say not so great. Before we open the door to new issues and digital freedoms they are not ready for, we have to help them more with the freedoms they already have – and are clearly struggling with. Plus, as parents, we are still sorting out the issues with the digital uses of technology our kids are currently using. Let’s sort those out first before we give the green light to other mobile freedoms that will certainly be more complex and harder to control.
If all goes well, data plans will remain unaffordable for a while longer so we won’t have to cross another digital bridge none of us are ready for.
*This blog post was originally published at Dr. Gwenn Is In*
June 12th, 2009 by Nancy Brown, Ph.D. in Better Health Network
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Last weekend an intoxicated 16-year old Orinda teen died in a hallway during a party, a preventable loss that disturbs any sane person. It makes me obsess about why our culture encourages the use of alcohol as part of celebrating and socializing, where the adults were, why the other teens ignored a person who had obviously drank too much, and most importantly, what if someone had just called 911 earlier?
Everyone in that community and all of us who heard about this tragedy will live with the “what ifs” but I hope it encourages every parent to make sure s/he has talked to their teen about expectations for their behavior, sure, but also about what to do when things get out of hand! You can help them avoid living with the “what ifs” by checking out Doc Gurley’s great article for SF Gate this week that includes six practical tips that all teens should know about alcohol!
In addition to knowing how to recognize a medical emergency which you can find in Doc Gurley’s article, families also need (rules) agreements about what to do if a teen finds themselves in a situation where alcohol is being abused. Of course, parents have to be comfortable with the agreement, but some families have agreements that include:
- no driving a car after consuming any amount of alcohol;
- no being in a car with anyone who has consumed any amount of alcohol;
- not staying at a party where anyone is drinking or has had too much to drink;
- a parent can be called at any time of the day or night to:
- intervene at a party;
- pick up a teen who has been drinking;
- take a friend home who has been drinking;
- help talk to irate parents; and
- talk to friends about alcohol use.
Most of these agreements include a “no consequence” clause for the teen – which means there is no anger, grounding, punishment, etc… associated with any of those activities. That does not mean there isn’t a serious conversation about alcohol use that may follow a good night’s sleep, shower, and 12-hour cool down period, but if your teen does drink, you really do not want them to drive, be in a car, or be a victim in any way – so, please make sure they know that you would rather them call you and be safe!
If you want to know what your teen knows about alcohol use and when to call for help, ask him or her to tell you exactly what they would do if someone at a party has passed out or puked on themselves. If it does not including calling 911 and you to pick them up, ask them why, and then make an agreement about what will happen in those situations – and then abide by the agreement!
Every teen deserves this conversation!
This post, Talking to Teens About Alcohol, was originally published on
Healthine.com by Nancy Brown, Ph.D..
June 4th, 2009 by Nancy Brown, Ph.D. in Better Health Network
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As if we needed any more indications that the sexuality education we teach in schools might not be working, the latest place for teens to find answers to their questions is via cell phone.
In spite of web sites that allow teens to ask anonymous questions like We’re Talking Teen Health and Go Ask Alice!, teens are still looking for answers to immediate sexuality-related questions, and texting them is the newest way to get answers.
In California, teens can text their sexuality questions to ISIS by texting the word ‘hookup’ to the phone number 365247 which will allow them to sign up for weekly health tips. Each tip contains a prompt to text the word ‘clinic’ plus a zip code to get contact information for two local clinics.
In North Carolina, they can text questions to The Birds and Bees Text Line. Both services provide non-judgmental and medically accurate information within 24 hours to teens with questions.
Neither site provides medical advice, only information from an adult and encouragement to seek medical care. The important part is that these services are another place teens can reach out to adults for information and support.
I worry a little bit about what happens when teens admit they were raped, or are being sexually abused – what do the adults receiving this information do – and are they responsible for reporting what they learn to the authorities, but I guess that is a abridge we cross when we come to it.
For now, I am happy there are more adults willing to provide the information teens need to make good decisions, get medical care, and protect themselves. As always, parents would be the best source of sexuality information, but they might need their own texting site for their questions!
This post, Reaching Adults – Teens Text Questions About Sex, was originally published on
Healthine.com by Nancy Brown, Ph.D..
May 29th, 2009 by Nancy Brown, Ph.D. in Better Health Network
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The junior year of high school includes a huge number of tests including midterms, finals, AP exams, SAT tests that all contribute to which colleges a teen will get into. The pressure is intense and even the mellowest teen will experience at least some anxiety.
Some stress helps teens do better, work harder, and stay focused. Too much stress will strip them of their confidence and actually make their test-taking skills worse. It is important that parent help teens prepare for tests by:
- Not planning trips or events in the weeks before the tests;
- Encouraging them not to cram the night before;
- Encouraging them to take practice tests to increase their comfort;
- Helping them get a good night sleep the night before the test and eating a healthy breakfast;
- Going early and having what they need (picture ID, admit form, pencils, calculator);
- Reminding them to read through the whole test making notes and then budget time and reading all the directions slowly and completely, as well as organizing their thoughts before writing; and
- Working with them to remember to think positively, calming any anxious thoughts during the test.
No matter how independent our teens can be, testing season calls for extra parenting and comfort provision!
This post, How To Help Teens Handle Test Stress, was originally published on
Healthine.com by Nancy Brown, Ph.D..
May 25th, 2009 by Gwenn Schurgin O'Keeffe, M.D. in Better Health Network
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During the recent Mother’s Day weekend, I found myself driving north to New Hampshire to take a tour of an overnight camp my youngest daughter, almost 12, came home from school the prior week and announcing she “had to go to” this summer with her friends. While this is very age-appropriate, any one who knows my daughter who is reading this is at this very moment reading the last paragraph and shouting out loud “Get out! M…shy little M!!??” Yup…the one and only.
This is a child who used to talk about living at home “forever”.
This is a child whose dream college was “definitely in Boston…maybe Connecticut” – so she could come home and visit when she felt the urge.
This is a child who, until this year, “wasn’t a fan of sleepovers”. She used to explain “it’s a bed thing – I like my own bed.”
So, when this same child came home last week and started off telling me about her day with “So, about the summer…there’s this camp in New Hampshire…” I almost fell off my seat and I’m sure my heart skipped a beat.
Every relative who heard this story has had the same reaction. First, shock…”M??” then pure excitement (“All right, M!!”).
This isn’t a child who will be living at home forever – this child is growing up.
This isn’t a child who will just look at Boston or Connecticut for colleges some day – this child is starting to see a world around her and want to explore it!
This child is now a fan of sleepovers because “how else can you sleep somewhere other than home and be with your friends.” Good thing because the camp has bunks!!
So, never say ‘never’ when it comes to your kids. They bloom in the most amazing ways when they are ready, not when we think they are ready, and often do so when we least expect it. All we can do as parents is prepare for the unexpected and be their best cheering squad through their new found courage, excitement and interests.
BTW, I used to worry about this child, my previously shy, no longer little M. Not any more! This child has clearly emerged from her cocoon and sprouted wings that are sure to take her in many exciting directions – and we’re happy to help her snatch some air space to take a few practice runs before she’s old enough to really wonder from home. I hope you’ll do the same with your tweens and teens. Just like a new pilot takes many test runs before flying solo, our tweens and teens will need many new experiences with us close at hand, but just a bit out of reach, before they are finally on their own in the adult world.
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*This blog post was originally published at Dr. Gwenn Is In*
Cell phones are their feature are an ever growing topic in today’s families. It used to be that the hot button issue was whether to get the phone. Now, we have to deal with all the features: texting, Internet, camera…to name the tip of the iceberg!
