October 10th, 2007 by Dr. Val Jones in Humor
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Those of you who enjoyed “Let’s Pick On Anesthesiologists” will really like this video as well. Many thanks to Dinah at Shrink Rap for pointing this one out. It’s a YouTube video of a comedian/mom singing all the things she tells her children in the course of a day, but condensed into 2 minutes. Any mom (or child of a mom) will relate. This woman must be channeling Mindy Roberts. Please click here: The Ultimate Mom Song.
Addition:Thank you, Mindy, for typing out the lyrics! Here you go ladies (and gentlemen?) if you’d like to sing along… And here’s a link to the woman who got this started: Anita Renfroe
Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here’s your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don’t play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don’t forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don’t sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait ’til you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an egg A, Get the door
Don’t get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get?in here I’ll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of reality
I don’t care who started it
You’re grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before that
You’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don’t forget
I love you
**KISS**
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because
Because
Because
Because
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I’m the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Ta-daThis post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
October 8th, 2007 by Dr. Val Jones in Health Tips
4 Comments »
You’d think that all my friends were participating in breast cancer awareness month – first the abnormal mammogram scare, now a new email from a young, worried friend: “I found a lump in my breast. What should I do?”
My friend is 28 years old, with no family history of breast cancer. However, I take all lumps seriously because my husband’s sister was diagnosed in her early 30’s, after complaining of some hip pain followed by an x-ray which revealed diffuse metastases. Nonetheless, it bears repeating that a breast lump in a woman in her 20’s is highly unlikely to be cancer. For those of you out there who have found a lump in your breast, here are the statistics:
- An estimated 90% of breast lumps are benign (and that includes lumps in significantly older women).
- The number one risk factor for breast cancer is age. The risk of a woman in her 30’s having breast cancer is <0.43%. The National Cancer Institute doesn’t have per cent risks for women in their 20’s but I’m sure it’s even lower.
- Fibrocystic breast tissue occurs in up to 60% of all women, and has a lumpy texture.
- Breast cysts are fairly common, up to 7% of western females have a breast cyst at some point in their lifetimes.
- Breast lumps often occur in response to normal hormonal fluctuations in the menstrual cycle
So if you find a breast lump, you should have it evaluated, but please keep in mind that there’s a 60% chance that it’s due to harmless fibrocystic changes, and (if you’re in your 30’s) a 0.43% chance that you’ll develop cancer. Indeed, most lumps are benign at all ages.
The next step in a lump evaluation is to have an ultrasound and if you’re over 35 to also have a mammogram, and then if the clinical images warrant it, a biopsy to confirm the contents of the lump. Also keep in mind that once you’ve had a biopsy, you can expect some scarring which could be read as “abnormal” in future mammograms. So don’t be surprised if you get an abnormal mammogram later on after the biopsy.
Breast cancer awareness is very important and can save lives, but on the flip side it can also make us paranoid about our breasts. My advice would be to take any lumps seriously, but also know that it’s not cancer until proven so – and that most women have breasts with a somewhat lumpy texture, so if you don’t have any lumps, you’re technically in the minority.This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
August 5th, 2007 by Dr. Val Jones in News
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Russia has been promoting a new sport: the stiletto heels sprint. Although I’d heard of this a couple of months ago, I just noticed some video footage on Yahoo! In this particular race, over 200 women turned out to run 1 kilometer (about 2/3 of a mile) in heels that are at least 3.5 inches high.
It is well known that regularly wearing high heels can result in foot deformities such as bunions and corns. And yet women continue to wear them as they never seem to go out of fashion. If you’re unwilling to give up those heels, but would like to avoid having feet that look like this, here are some tips for you:
1. Minimize the distance you walk in heels. Carry your shoes to work with you and wear flats or sneakers during most of your walking.
2. Wear shoes that are wide in the toe box and do not squeeze your toes together.
3. Put metatarsal pads in your high heeled shoes, to keep your foot from sliding forward (especially if they are closed-toe).
4. Don’t wait too long to see a rehabilitation medicine specialist or podiatrist if you think you’re developing a bunion. Corrective action should be taken as early as possible.
5. If you’re working at your desk, remember to slip off your shoes to reduce the pressure on your toes. Every lit bit helps when it comes to reducing toe joint stress. If your relatives have bunions, you may be at higher risk for developing them too.
As for those Russian women who race in their stilettos, all I can say is that they’ll be keeping the rehab docs, orthopedists and podiatrists in business!This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
July 31st, 2007 by Dr. Val Jones in News
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Thanks to ED nurse Ian Miller who brought this research study to my attention: lidocaine jelly can substantially reduce the pain of having a Foley catheter inserted into the urethra – for both men and women. And yet the jelly is not always used for women. Many nurses, PAs and physicians erroneously believe that only men benefit from the numbing gel because they have longer urethras. But new research suggests that women benefit substantially from this pain reducing gel. What amazes me is that it took this long to research the issue – imagine all the women who could have had a more comfortable experience with this process. So ladies, if you (or your mom) need a bladder catheterization for any reason, be sure to ask for lidocaine jelly.This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
July 24th, 2007 by Dr. Val Jones in Announcements
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From July 26-29 I’ll be in Chicago at the annual BlogHer conference. BlogHer is a community of women bloggers determined to make the world a better place. Revolution Health is proud to be a sponsor of BlogHer this year, and I’ve been asked to moderate a break out session contained within the “Earn Our Votes: What Questions Do Women Bloggers Want Candidates to Answer in Election 2008?” session. Revolution Health is non-partisan, and my role as moderator is to facilitate sincere discussion.
The break out session is 25 minutes long, and the goal is to distill all the important healthcare questions into only 3 key questions that women would like to ask presidential hopefuls about healthcare. In order to get the discussion going, I’ll present a list of questions featured recently on YouTube and in the BlogHer blogs. Please feel free to add questions in the comments section of this blog, and we’ll discuss them in Chicago on Saturday. Hope to see you there!
References
The recent CNN/YouTube Democratic Debate featured the following healthcare questions:
- How will your healthcare plan address the needs of the aging population, specifically those with Alzheimer’s, heart disease and diabetes?
- What will your healthcare plan do to address the need for affordable preventive medicine services?
- Does your healthcare plan cover undocumented workers?
- How do you intend to make sure that all Americans have some form of health insurance?
Various posts from the BlogHer conference blog:
Affordability / Universality
- How can we pay for healthcare in US sustainably?
- How can we make sure that anyone in the US not only has access to healthcare, but can afford it?
- How do we weed out those who choose not to have healthcare from those who desperately need it?
- How can we make healthcare a right, not a privilege, for every citizen?
- How can we mandate that all children in the US are insured?
- How do we protect families from insurance companies who deny claims in the face of a health crisis?
Women’s Issues
- How can we ensure increased access to family planning?
- How do we get birth control to be covered universally under health insurance policies?
- How do we achieve “scientific fairness” to women?
- How can we make women’s and children’s health issues a priority?
- How do we improve health education for women and children?
- How can we make childbirth and maternity leave less of a burden for working mothers? Especially as disability insurance is not offered to all nor is it usually enough. Women can afford to take time off after having a child.
- Can a woman’s reproductive rights be protected in US healthcare?
Ethics / Technology
- How can we ensure everyone has the same access to the same tests and treatments?
- How can we protect research, such as stem cell research, that has the possiblity to wipe out diseases?
This post originally appeared on Dr. Val’s blog at RevolutionHealth.com.
