When Megan Ellerd and Steven Ferretti met seven years ago, it was “instant love,” she says. Not long after, the young couple found out that Steven had autoimmune hepatitis — but they didn’t worry too much about it, hoping that it wouldn’t affect them until much later in life. In 2008, however, the two were happily engaged when Steven’s condition suddenly took a turn for the worse. His liver was failing, and he needed a transplant.
Although Steven had severe liver disease and was experiencing painful symptoms such as ascites (fluid buildup in the abdomen), he would have had to become deathly ill in order to qualify for a donor organ from the transplant waiting list. For a couple with a wedding to plan and a bright future ahead, the prospect of Steven spending many months, if not years, in progressively worsening health was just not an option. For Megan, the choice was clear. She had known from the beginning that she would donate part of her liver to him if she could — and when testing Read more »
*This blog post was originally published at Columbia University Department of Surgery Blog*
We are living incarnations of a love that preceded us.
Vibrant, with ailing petals that should fall.
A knot in the throat, a conjuring of another’s quintessence,
as music brightens the void.
As we love others perhaps we can feel the face
of eternity shining down upon us.
If we could but hold on to love,
to be mindful of its primacy,
we might never grow dim again.
*This blog post was originally published at The Examining Room of Dr. Charles*
*This blog post was originally published at GruntDoc*
Conditional love is finally getting the press it deserves – and it is all bad! Sorry Dr. Phil and Supernanny, many of us do not believe that what children need or want (specifically approval or love) should be offered contingently or doled out as rewards or withheld until they behave according to our wishes. Praising children for doing something right or punishing if they do something wrong – are both conditional and counterproductive.
Research completed in 2004 (Assor & Roth) with adults and recently replicated with ninth graders (Deci) suggests that children who received conditional approval were in fact more likely to do what a parent wanted, but as adults, the children tend to not like their parents much, feel internal pressure to do things versus a sense of choice or control, and they often felt guilty or ashamed of their behavior. In addition, children who reported feeling more loved when they lived up to their parents’ expectations feel less worthy as adults. Read more »
This post, The Long-Term Consequences Of Conditional Love, was originally published on
Healthine.com by Nancy Brown, Ph.D..