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The Friday Funny: Butterfly Collections

frog

Overheard At Pain Management Clinic

Doctor: Mr. Smith, your urine test is positive for cocaine.

Mr. Smith: [Blank Stare]

Doctor: Have you been snorting cocaine recently?

Mr. Smith: No.

Doctor: Then why is there cocaine in your urine?

Mr. Smith: Maybe your nurse put it in there.

Doctor: If my nurse had cocaine, I don’t think she’d put it in your urine.

***

Bonus tip for pain management specialists: cocaine’s half-life in the urine is 2-4 days. “Random” urine drug testing on Mondays offers a higher yield than other days of the business week because most patients abuse illicit drugs on weekends>>weekdays.

Can You Determine A Doctor’s Specialty By His/Her Shoes?

doctorshoes

I’m currently at a medical conference for my specialty, Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. I happened to look around at everyone’s shoes and realized that many medical specialties can probably be identified by the types of shoes they wear. Check out the footwear at your next conference and tell me if I’m on to something. And by the way, this is more or less what rehab docs wear on their feet:

pmrshoes

The Friday Funny: Pediatric Cardiology

pediatriccardiology

Aspirin: Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

This story was related to me from a coworker:

I was taking care of a man who was on bipap.  (Bipap is a form fitting mask that goes over the mouth and nose to help augment breathing.  It has successfully been used numerous times in place of intubating patients and putting them on ventilators.)  He was becoming restless and tired of the mask.  I had to wait for the doctor to come and see him, though, before I could remove it.

Due to his medical condition, it was very important that he get an aspirin that day.  Since I couldn’t give it to him by mouth (because of the mask), I had to explain to him that I’d need to give it rectally as a suppository.

He nodded his consent and I proceeded to give the aspirin.

A short while later, the doctor came to see the patient and agreed that we could take the bipap mask off for awhile.  I happily entered the patients room to take the mask off… and before it was even off his face, he stuck his finger in the air and said,

“FOR THE RECORD, that is a hell of a way to take an aspirin!!”

It’s a hell of a way to give one, too.

*This blog post was originally published at Gina Rybolt, RN’s Code Blog.*

Latest Interviews

IDEA Labs: Medical Students Take The Lead In Healthcare Innovation

It’s no secret that doctors are disappointed with the way that the U.S. healthcare system is evolving. Most feel helpless about improving their work conditions or solving technical problems in patient care. Fortunately one young medical student was undeterred by the mountain of disappointment carried by his senior clinician mentors…

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How To Be A Successful Patient: Young Doctors Offer Some Advice

I am proud to be a part of the American Resident Project an initiative that promotes the writing of medical students residents and new physicians as they explore ideas for transforming American health care delivery. I recently had the opportunity to interview three of the writing fellows about how to…

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Latest Book Reviews

Book Review: Is Empathy Learned By Faking It Till It’s Real?

I m often asked to do book reviews on my blog and I rarely agree to them. This is because it takes me a long time to read a book and then if I don t enjoy it I figure the author would rather me remain silent than publish my…

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The Spirit Of The Place: Samuel Shem’s New Book May Depress You

When I was in medical school I read Samuel Shem s House Of God as a right of passage. At the time I found it to be a cynical yet eerily accurate portrayal of the underbelly of academic medicine. I gained comfort from its gallows humor and it made me…

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Eat To Save Your Life: Another Half-True Diet Book

I am hesitant to review diet books because they are so often a tangled mess of fact and fiction. Teasing out their truth from falsehood is about as exhausting as delousing a long-haired elementary school student. However after being approached by the authors’ PR agency with the promise of a…

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