June 29th, 2011 by Edwin Leap, M.D. in Humor, True Stories
No Comments »
A physician friend of mine recently bragged that, while driving along a rural South Carolina road, he had stopped, chased a timber-rattler into the bushes, located said rattler, then urinated on it.
‘I wanted to say I had peed on a rattlesnake!’ He beat a hasty retreat (and I imagine a hasty zip-up) when the snake rattled and struck at the air. Who can blame Mr. Snake?
You can take the redneck to medical school, but you’ll just get a redneck with a medical degree.
Which brings me to me. I have to work on our tool-shed/work-shop in the morning. The tool-shed/work-shop is, however, over-run with red-wasps. I counted no less than ten nests inside. These are irritable, contentious creatures with no love of humanity. If they were humans, they would be Read more »
*This blog post was originally published at edwinleap.com*
June 18th, 2011 by Edwin Leap, M.D. in Health Policy, Opinion
No Comments »
Customer or patient?
I can’t remember; are they patients or our customers?
Are our patients really customers? Are they clients? Does this term, borrowed from the business world, really hold water in the current climate of health care? I believe if you ask most practicing physicians and nurses, other than those in charge of administration of groups and hospitals, they would say that they have patients, not customers, and that the whole idea is driving them batty.
The customer service model is very popular. Entire lectures and conferences exist to enforce this enlightened way to view patient care. I understand the drive, to an extent. The people we see in our hospitals and emergency departments need to feel valued and need to feel we are competent and caring. This matters especially in highly competitive markets because the ones who are happy keep coming back. This also matters because people who feel valued may be less likely to sue us. There is some logic to the customer service world view.
Unfortunately, Read more »
*This blog post was originally published at edwinleap.com*
June 5th, 2011 by Edwin Leap, M.D. in Opinion
No Comments »
This is my column in June’s EM News.
‘But you’re a rich doctor, right?’ Have you had that conversation? There’s a certain expectation of physicians, that we’re all just filthy rich, overflowing with boxes of cash tucked neatly away beneath our gilded beds.
When we were building our house, our builder talked with my wife: ‘Jan, I want you to meet me to look for counters and cabinets. Don’t bathe the kids. Put them in dirty play clothes and don’t wear anything nice. Don’t ever tell them your husband is a doctor.’ He’s a wise man. What he knew was that the word ‘doctor’ means ‘cash.’ Or at least, means ‘cash’ to the popular mind.
I wonder if this perception is the reason patients come to the emergency department and say things like this: ‘I don’t have any money to go to the dentist, so I came here.’ It’s the belief that we come to our jobs already in possession of large amounts of money. Granted, there are some physicians who come from wealthy families. The majority, however, do not. And no one does that to any other professional. ‘I’d like a house built to order, and I know you’re a rich contractor. I can’t pay you, so get to work! Or else I’ll sue!’
Nevertheless, from patients to insurers, real-estate agents to contractors, attorneys to government and hospital officials, the belief is straightforward. MD means ‘Mucho Denaro.’ Witness the hospital in Pennsylvania that recently began Read more »
*This blog post was originally published at edwinleap.com*
May 27th, 2011 by Edwin Leap, M.D. in Humor, True Stories
No Comments »
As the country wrestles with the cost of health-care, and as various media outlets address the role of emergency departments, I thought this little guide-might be helpful! I pulled it out of my archives from several years ago. Enjoy!
All too often, I discharge a patient and think to myself, What instructions can I give for this? Sometimes there are problems and questions that don’t have obvious solutions or answers. And in these situations, coming up with something useful for the patient to read at home is, to say the least, difficult. I’ve come up with a few based on some of the enigmas I see at Oconee Memorial Hospital.
Virginity evaluation: The emergency physician has not determined the status of your daughter’s virginity. In fact, the emergency physician does not wish to know the status of your daughter’s virginity. Furthermore, this doesn’t constitute an emergency. Unfortunately, no one has so far developed any simple home kits for making this determination. If you do, please notify the emergency department so that we can refer other families to your product. If you wish to know more about your daughter’s sexuality, try talking to her. If you found her naked in bed with a boy, you don’t need us.
Drug use evaluation: The emergency physician has not performed a random drug test on your teenage son. He has no complaints, is not suicidal, and has no apparent medical problem. This is not a family counseling center. If you want to know if he is using drugs, talk to him. Admittedly, he is a surly, unpleasant, disheveled, and foul-mouthed young man, whose multiple piercings make him look like a Stone Age erector set. But finding out if he is using drugs simply doesn’t constitute what we like to call an emergency. If he isn’t using drugs, be certain that repeated trips to the emergency department accompanied by screaming parents will certainly give him good reason to start.
Whole body numbness: It simply isn’t possible to be awake, walking, talking, and functioning and be entirely numb from head to toe. Admittedly, your ability to overcome the sensation of sharp needles and other painful stimuli is impressive, and may herald a future career with the CIA. For now, however, our physician has determined that the one thing likely to be numb on your person is your skull. Read more »
*This blog post was originally published at edwinleap.com*
May 13th, 2011 by Edwin Leap, M.D. in True Stories
No Comments »
Ordinarily, I’m wary of all things dental. I had too many cavities as a child. As a young man, I had a root canal done on the wrong tooth, followed immediately by the correct one. My dental memories are a bit tainted. Not an indictment of the entire profession so much as a kind of PPSD…post procedure stress disorder.
But when I moved to South Carolina, my wife and I found a wonderful general dentist in Dr. Ronald Moore, in Seneca, SC. Rarely would I ascribe the words ‘painless dentistry’ to one of the practitioners of that esteemed profession. But I have to give credit where credit is due. His hygenists, and Dr. Moore, have all been the pinnacle of gentility. Even my children aren’t afraid to go for cleanings. And when I need anesthesia, well Dr. Moore is an artist with a needle. Heck, if he were a tattoo artist, I’d think about it…
Sadly, when I was recently in his office for a crown, he felt that I first needed a root canal. The very words inspire vague nausea and general panic. From my own experience, ‘root canal’ is right up there with ‘waterboarding,’ ‘fingernail removal’ and ’shark attack.’ Read more »
*This blog post was originally published at edwinleap.com*
